The chilly autumn breeze cools my skin and I shiver, but I don’t move. Time has no meaning anymore so I don’t know for how long we’ve been lying here, at the foot of the cliffs right where sea meets sand. My fingers are curled around yours and I won’t let go, but instead of warmth I am greeted
with more iciness. Has it really been that long?
Wet clothes are sticking to my body as I look up into the night sky. Can you see all those stars up there, all the beauty hidden in the blackness of the universe? I can feel a smile tugging on my lips. I turn around to draw your attention to an especially beautiful sparkle, but I am faced with blank eyes staring into nothing. I couldn’t bring myself to close them just yet, my own eyes unable to look away from the black ponds that once appeared to be so deep. Maybe I am still hoping to see the fire settle back into your irises. Instead you see nothing of the beauty that once made you feel so alive.
Inching closer I know I won’t feel the steady beating of your heart but I am still disappointed when I bury my face into your chest and hear nothing but this awful all-consuming silence. You are still beautiful even in death and maybe, just maybe, a kiss will warm you up and bring back the person I love with all my heart. Warm lips touch cold ones but nothing happens. You’re still gone.
I haven’t cried yet and I’m sure I won’t either. I don’t know whether I just can’t believe it or if it’s because I won’t let you go. Not yet. My mind briefly wanders to what our search party will find in the morning. Of course they’ll come looking for us. Will they find out what happened? Will they be able to tell that we’ve been on top of the cliffs, laughing and singing? I bet they won’t imagine the way your face lit up with a beautiful smile as you turned around to face me. How your arms were open wide as if you wanted to hug the whole world and everyone living in it. And I know for sure that they can’t imagine the change of scenery when porous rock broke, the way your face fell. They can’t hear your surprised scream and the sound your body made as it hit the sand. But I’ve been there. I’ve seen it all.
I remember climbing down and finding you. I fixed your broken bones until you looked like you were sleeping and lay down beside you. The only things I couldn’t fix were your eyes, starring up into the sky, giving you away. They are empty, so empty and nothing speaks of the life they once contained. Where have you gone? I couldn’t bring myself to close them.
Sleep is dreadingly close now and forces me to make a decision that’s already been decided on. I won’t move. Let them find both our bodies tomorrow. Together in life and in death, isn’t that what we promised each other? I can’t leave you, you were what kept me alive during all those stormy nights back when we first met. I can’t leave you.
I close my eyes and tighten my grip around your wrist. The cold is barely noticeable anymore, but that’s just my body adapting. It’s still freezing as water surrounds us.
Thinking of you, a smile spreads onto my white lips. I let go and gladly embrace death. It’s not an end it’s just a change and I will be with you again in a minute. I dream of summer, your smile and the way the sunlight reflects on your hair.
Nothing will ever separate us.
“Whatever it is, don’t say it.” My mouth is dry, my eyes are watery. I don’t want to know whatever it is that he thought we should talk about. “I don’t want to know.” My voice is quiet, trembeling. His brown eyes are staring into mine and I look away. “But you need to know.” No. No, I really…
Thank you :) Yes it was - I do feel old now tho :D
Thank you!! :D Nope, still 1 1/2 hours left :P
I feel so old now!
xx
Kristin
Uh, no sé, lo siento… Yo sé que algunos tienen perros pero gatos… ? No lo sè… A lo mejor alguien podría ayudarte?
Which picture exactly are you talking about? I normally don’t edit much, but when I do I use Adobe Photoshop CS4 or CS5 :)
Friends, Hello, everyone!
To be honest, now I really do not mind to write something, but I know I owe you, so I write this blog for you, because you have been with me unconditionally and support me.
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